This is an older poem I'm linking to Pot Luck Monday!
Tiny butterlies flap their wings
high in my chest, in the back
of my throat, sending sparks up the
sides of my neck, prickling my scalp.
They spread into my chest, growing
into sparrows or wrens stealing
the space where I breathe, filling the
hole where my heart was with chaos.
I breathe long and slow to settle
the havoc, but to no avail.
The pounding penetrates to my
back where an eagle spreads his wings
bruising my rib cage, clawing my
wounds, pecking at my pain.
A hurricane, the energy
breaches my diaphram and roils
my gut, leaving me heaving with
nausea, tingling with thorny sweat
gasping for air.
© cj Schlottman 07/10/10
8 comments:
very descriptive that i can see what is happening without being there.thanks
just read the other version(?) on your small stories blog, this certainly have all the emerging emotions that is fear, I'm sure I'm stating the obvious, that is pretty much how I critique poems, not very good at it, as this comment testify
You had me squirming Claudia!
Butterflies and hurricane? Just amazing, a well mixture of them together, the chilling should preserve :)
love your word choices.
timeless capture of life's segment..
A++
Greetings!
Here is the end of the year awards 4 you, enjoy!
End of The Year Awards 4 Friends of Jingle or Jingle Poetry Community
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! You Are The Best!
the more you share, the happier we are.
blessings.
u described it well.. mines here- http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/painted-hallways/
wow, powerful metaphoric imagery! I felt it!
Post a Comment