I never knew this woman
of steel and guts, this woman
you said would survive no matter what.
I never saw the iron at
her core that was clear to you,
that you believed was the glue
that held her in one piece.
The woman I know is
a pretender a coward
who hid her angst, rallied
the family, sent them to
lie at your side, sit at your feet
until death began slowly
to reveal itself and they
could no longer bear
the sounds of its rattle
in your throat
The woman I know lay
with you all afternoon
awash in tears and lied
to you and said she
could endure it and not to
worry to go ahead and die
if you needed to.
Clinging to your sweater
her head on your shoulder
alone and scared she touched
your cheek, scorched with fever
said good-bye but didn’t mean it.
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