For Loren

What was it that you wanted 

when you took me to your side

made as to soothe me   help me heal?  

What happened to the man who 

brought a waterfall of 

laughter cascading down 

the front of my dress

poked a tiny hole in 

my heart so a trickle

of tenderness could drip in

fold itself around my 

oozing wound born of loss?

What made you want me to 

fuck your lover then turn

on us when you thought 

I had   a viper spewing

flames of hatred   vitriol

meant to burn out my core

corrode the embryonic

seeds of healing there?

Serpent that you are   you’ve 

begun slithering 

circling me as new prey

forgetting you molted 

cast me off   so much   

dry skin baking in the sun.

You dare to approach me

take my hands as though

you have a right and

I jerk them back.

Waterfalls of laughter 

long forgotten   dismissed 

as bait to lure me to 

your writhing nest of madness

I stare you in the eye

smooth my dress   brush past you

and wipe my hands on the hem.

© cj Schlottman

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

For John, Who Died Anyway

Leaves pasted together 

by dew   carpet the path 

across the meadow.  

Twigs snap under your boots.

You stride out    head high    push 

challenge   stare down the cancer 

that   robbed you   first of a 

kidney   then a lung.  

I clamber after you 

up a steep hill   jeans wet 

to the knees.  You pause   

lean on your stick   suck air 

march toward the gurgle of   

the periwinkle spring.

Winded   I scramble   half-jog  

struggle to keep up

uproot vines to plant at

my back door   a symbol 

of your strength this day.  

Across the road   the smell

of wet hay penetrates

our noses.  Your stick a sword 

you lash at underbrush

lead me through a thicket 

to the creek   point out 

mountain laurel in bloom. 

I snap blossoms   bunch them

in a bouquet of sorts.

Tiring   you tug in 

a broken breath   attack 

the hill as I scramble 

alongside   take your hand

never a thought that you

would die.

© cj  Schlottman

Night

Night comes in sparkling gems

of sunlight, twinkles of

stars in your hazel eyes.

Shimmering refections

from ocean water at

whose feet we linger late

give glow to your visage

radiate to my own.

You flash a smile, fold my

hand into yours as the

sun sinks into the sea.

© cj Schlottman 2011