Blessings

Remembering the glint
in Clint’s eye when we touched
glasses of Chardonnay
sparkling yellow, oaky
this wine that brushed our lips
fondled our tongues, colored
our cheeks with roses red.

Addie, my gift from God
sleeping in the next bed
honeyed hair splayed around
her pillow, a halo
a rainbow, glints of gold
shining in dawn’s soft light.

Parrish at three, feeding
redbirds in our back yard
tossing bread in the air
his tiny hands waving
inviting them to eat,
his hair a golden mass
of curls, so normal he
no hint of what would come.

Paul, my ever stalwart
rock, my only brother
like me, a survivor
of unspeakable loss
in whose hands I would
place my very being
certain he would save me.

My three devoted dogs
who never hold a grudge
give freely of their love
lie by my side, snoring
softly, sleeping soundly
warming me at my core.

Blessings, rememberings
these and so many more
decorate my living
stain it with hues of spring.


© cj Schlottman

48 Hours

Again, fear and dread come
to throttle me out of
the peace I have found for
just one moment in time.
Again, paralyzed with
fear, I shriek the silent
scream of my much wounded
heart, heavy with the sting
of not knowing, spilling
tears and fears through my core.
Missing, he, my only
son, poisoned by illness
and drugs to keep him sane.
My mind, a toxic land-
fill of past loss, can but
imagine him alone
in danger of himself
at the mercy of those
who would suck the very
marrow from him and leave
him a pathetic pile
of wounds and confusion.
After forty eight hours
again, there is word of
his appearance miles from
home, in hospital. I
remember to breathe and
wonder when this season
of fear will reappear.


© cj Schlottman